You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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