tell your sister to shave her snatch
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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