Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
