Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
