Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
