Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
as a side note pls kill me
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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