More tranny stories later!
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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