my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
