Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Mom said you looked used
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
