You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
i've created a new STD.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
