So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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