I CAN MOONWALK!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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