love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
