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i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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