Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Randomize
