eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
ttyl tear gas
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
