theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
