think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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