I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
