The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I wear drunk well.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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