I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
