Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
