You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
