Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
