Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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