The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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