I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
