So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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