did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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