are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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