He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
