So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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