So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
