He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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