woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I fill condoms, not promises.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
