walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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