if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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