It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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