would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
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Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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