So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
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Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
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He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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