honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
