can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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