Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
it's like heaven, but drunker
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
