Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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