i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?