remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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