Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.