Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday

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  (810): I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday http://tfl.nu/aiy9
  Replies (34) Good night (683) Bad night (6169)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.

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  (405): I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost. http://tfl.nu/voez
  Replies (41) Good night (7787) Bad night (2329)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.

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  (602): When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself. http://tfl.nu/8ts9
  Replies (72) Good night (2414) Bad night (14679)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs

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  (440): Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs http://tfl.nu/58d0
  Replies (15) Good night (5767) Bad night (1080)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.

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  (361): Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck. http://tfl.nu/rgty
  Replies (18) Good night (1638) Bad night (2143)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?

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  (256): this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo? http://tfl.nu/pp0d
  Replies (3) Good night (2123) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.

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  (630): Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar. http://tfl.nu/ain1
  Replies (4) Good night (1856) Bad night (902)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.

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  (870): I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team. http://tfl.nu/hbuy
  Replies (6) Good night (2152) Bad night (552)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first

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  (312): Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first http://tfl.nu/6e2a
  Replies (3) Good night (1017) Bad night (1172)
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  (925): View more from California

  I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission

  (925): View more from California

  Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol

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  (925): I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission (925): Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol http://tfl.nu/zmin
  Replies (10) Good night (1992) Bad night (635)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.

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  (609): I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth. http://tfl.nu/4sxy
  Replies (0) Good night (771) Bad night (343)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.

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  (315): I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun. http://tfl.nu/dmt9
  Replies (4) Good night (495) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.

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  (630): Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat. http://tfl.nu/abrh
  Replies (1) Good night (618) Bad night (412)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?

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  (410): Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of? http://tfl.nu/mce5
  Replies (0) Good night (249) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep

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  (614): Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep http://tfl.nu/uw4b
  Replies (1) Good night (170) Bad night (434)

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