i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
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So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.