Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

If I was on drugs, this would be amazing

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(404): If I was on drugs, this would be amazing http://tfl.nu/jwjt

Replies (10) Good night (2228) Bad night (1695)
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(443): View more from Maryland

The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.

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(443): The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion. http://tfl.nu/57n6

Replies (31) Good night (698) Bad night (4644)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium

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(763): I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium http://tfl.nu/c873

Replies (10) Good night (4293) Bad night (1147)
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(813): View more from Florida

I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.

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(813): I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me. http://tfl.nu/z6eo

Replies (36) Good night (19966) Bad night (1701)
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(417): View more from Missouri

He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...

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(417): He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night... http://tfl.nu/cdml

Replies (7) Good night (3426) Bad night (3051)
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(913): View more from Kansas

Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.

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(913): Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move. http://tfl.nu/e9ea

Replies (6) Good night (4833) Bad night (957)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.

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(605): After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it. http://tfl.nu/6bjl

Replies (6) Good night (2307) Bad night (871)
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(313): View more from Michigan

I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.

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(313): I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents. http://tfl.nu/eaix

Replies (6) Good night (3150) Bad night (955)
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(207): View more from Maine

That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"

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(207): That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain" http://tfl.nu/84lt

Replies (3) Good night (1545) Bad night (865)
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(818): View more from California

Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place

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(818): Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place http://tfl.nu/xlhx

Replies (60) Good night (16529) Bad night (1143)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now

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(508): Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now http://tfl.nu/n0um

Replies (7) Good night (2637) Bad night (563)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...

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(215): I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands... http://tfl.nu/sf3a

Replies (4) Good night (1220) Bad night (408)
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(530): View more from California

Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me

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(530): Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me http://tfl.nu/x3r5

Replies (0) Good night (1169) Bad night (348)
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(850): View more from Florida

We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go

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(850): We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go http://tfl.nu/28iq

Replies (4) Good night (452) Bad night (275)
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(219): View more from Indiana

You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.

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(219): You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him. http://tfl.nu/eshg

Replies (3) Good night (1068) Bad night (397)

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