so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
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Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
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The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.