Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
