I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
