when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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