you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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