porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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