some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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