Non-Jews are for practice
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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