You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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