I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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