Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I need a beard to bite.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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