TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
