if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
