I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
