did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
