Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
