I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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