...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
