i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Don't tell me you're on acid again
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
