Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
